The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

SO today was a day of omg wtf corspe cannot leave soon enough ... He wanted to walk with me for some reason so I allowed it. I went to publix got a sub and combo thing and he did not bother to even ask if he was eating the other part he assumed he was getting fed and drank too. I mean I was going for a walk on my own and it turns out to be lets fed the corspe something else and then when I asked him about stuff outside in public about his girlfriend he was like I would like not to talk about it in public and got a hissy fit. So he blahed out loud about how we had sex and I thought to myself he did not even make me cum and sucked in bed but I cannot say that allowed because he is saying how great he was. A man came down here as a toy in my eyes to which was not a toy in his eyes. He for some reason liked me I thought god help me next time I want sex I am not having them come for a visit for they stay. That right there is enough to make people be like moucher. serious fookin moucher... I am over it and so cannot wait for him to fookin leave. He does dishes at his own time. He does cleaning at his own time and then does it half assed. All he is good at is freaking farting and making me feel bad about my friends and choices I have made. He pissed me off big time.

First time in a long time that I just bought me something nad had not paid a bill or got food or whatever so I bought something neat and uplifting and unique for the most part...



this is the front







this is the back









the wallet

I got kitchen witchy

I got to make incense and salts and herbally thingys for a friend Trip. He needed witchy stuff so I got it working for the most part. I packed a box filed with stuff lol hehe even some catnip for his baby pepper ( cat).

I got another thunderbolt (vajra) for enlightment . I use it for upliftment and positive things at work and wear it as a necklace peace I got its mate today for he was lonely. She is beautiful.

Got new toys for the kitty and dog today and some new chewies and they seem to be content.

Went to bead store and got some gem stone beads to work on and a new nightmare before xams tote and wallet was there so of course I had to get it and my god it is cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I was attracted to

jade and found out the meaning was

Jade is an ancient stone that has historically been used to attract love. Carved into a butterfly, in China it is a powerful symbol used to draw love.



Jade can be used to bring money into your life. Create a positive attitude towards money and visualize yourself using money creatively and productively while holding the stone in your power hand. When making an important business decision, use the prosperous energies of jade by holding it while contemplating your course of action. Jade strengthens your mental faculties and assists in clear reasoning.



Jade is also a protective stone, guarding against accidents and misfortune. Place a piece of jade between two purple candles and let the candles burn for a short while. Then carry the jade with you as a protection amulet.



Symbol of successful love

A butterfly carved from jade holds a special romantic significance. Ancient Chinese legend tells of a youth who wandered into the garden of a wealthy mandarin in pursuit of a multi-colored butterfly. Instead of being punished for trespassing, his visit led to marriage with the mandarin's daughter.



got yellow turquoise



Yellow Turquoise with its earthy colors, connects the energies of the heavens with the consciousness of the Earth. It strengthens and aligns all chakras. Increases serenity, protection, meditation energies, balance, honesty and love. A wonderful healing stone, fosters empathy, positive thinking and sensitivity.



Turquoise is one of the oldest protection stones, and has long been considered a symbol of wealth in many cultures.



If given a turquoise by a loving friend, that stone would protect the wearer from negative energy and bring good fortune. The turquoise is the symbol of friendship. It also brings peace to the home.





and then Serpentine

Serpentine gets its name from the word 'serpent' because it resembles the skin of a snake. It is sometimes called New Jade and occurs in a variety of colors including red, green, brown-red, brown-yellow and white. It has been used since ancient times to guard against disease and sorcery.



Serpentine makes an exceptional meditation stone. It helps you to find inner peace. Serpentine was carried in ancient Assyria to request the gods and goddesses to provide double blessings. Nursing women used it to regulate their milk supply.



Some of the uses of serpentine include:



Protection against poisonous creatures such as snakes, insects, etc.

Balances mood swings

Encourages the ability to solve conflicts by peaceful means

Healing properties of Serpentine

Serpentine can be placed directly on the skin. It is an aid to kidney and stomach complaints, relaxes cramps and menstrual pain and helps women who are unable to reach orgasm due to tension.



I was like ohhhh that makes sense sort of



lol

I love it! It is perfect! So I went life balance shopping. and learning what they mean before you know what you are attracted to and working with.

heheehe

eh work was just so much fun ... I was redoing peoples work all day. lol on monday there will be alot of follow ups and they will not what to do with themselves. Everyone but I opted out early for one it was not paid time off and two I was already out a day last week so it was going to be a bad paycheck. Needless to say.. It was rough..watching everyone leave and then I was there till my time was done. I did not complain nor do I now it is a matter of it was something in me that struck a cord. Everyone wanted to go home early and did and well I saw it as they dont care about the patients and well our business is abounding in it. It just did not feel right not to try and get authorizations on things even though most insurance companies were out for the holidays..

Then it came to me in a sincere sense of dreed. People really don't care about others nowadays they care about themselves really.

Marilyn asked me today why I don't kick john out of the house since he eats food and is online most of the time, if not that breaks something like my other computer, and though tried to get jobs is now waiting to go to canada via his girlfriend. so its offical he will be leaving janurary 10th. After being told jan 2nd it is almost like I got slapped in the face. He went to a place where he was supposed to get a ticket. The problem was his liscense was not of canada but IN. SOOOOO yeah he stays on the couch. But he walks my dog and does dishes and well sometimes he has something other then conquer on the brain.. Techincally I should kick him out for the more money I put out on food the more it goes into his belly and lol he is thin as rail which is not cool... Let me tell ya. At least gain weight or something.. Sh--. I exercise four days a week and though I am no spring chicken I would like to loose some kind of weight. The boy could eat the apartment and not gain weight. Annoying much yeah...

So why don't I? For it is he would be homeless and have no place to go or be until his day to meeting his new woman and such. I know what it is like to be homeless and not know the place and well I get that. So as I ponder life in general has humanity died so badly that helping a person out no matter how bad it seems . I have a roof over my head, I have electricity, and well I can get wifi anywhere lol being on line on a wireless got to love it.. MEOW

I have food and my animals and I are as healthy as we can be.

I am glad to say I am not alone in this world on that but hey who knows maybe the couple that helped me out who were not christain but pagan helped me out. I got on my feet and got out in a month. :) That is all I needed to get myself straight.

maybe it is about paying it forward. Yeah he can be an arse. But he is a human that needs help till jan 10th.. So be it. ehhh

Grumbles cannot walk around naked for awhile eh okay whatever...

christmas some say they are alone and some don't remember they are never alone with their gods. Today I was in a relaxed state of mind and I must say making a turkey was well worth it. Spent part of my day with Shauna. Spent alot of time with animals for they are my fur babies

and they got new toys. And the couch corspe got to eat well too. He is going to see if he can get a ticket tomorrow if he can he is headed to canada. Which is really cool. I need to be alone it is alot of space and yet it is not. I have one computer and well I either catch him playing all day on conquer or sleeping. He does not seem to understand I donot see him trying to get a ticket or a job or any of that when he is doing that when I walk in the door from working all day and such. It is not that I dont get it .Times are hard and well I am not much for the whole crazy bit. He yes walks Leo and yes does dishes but it is the fact I dont see it . I know Leo does for he does not use the pads as often.

I See the washed dishes but do I have to tell him to clean himself or his clothes? I am not sure what is up with that but he sometimes does not bath for days and his clothes dont get washed unless I do them for some reason..

I hope the Canada woman and him get along and that she can handle him. I am glad we are friends and though sometimes we have fought alot more so lately today was peaceful and that is all that matters.

I cut my hair two inches and created bangs. I have not had bangs in along time. So I am excited and thrilled to say the least that was the last of my past of being down here for 15 years of florida hell. I have my natural color and there is no dye in it at all funny thing is I have no grey hair . I am 37 years old I thought I was supposed to get some of that some how...

I have been burning lights for the acsentors that have passed on and well I am not sure why but I put a tree up this year and it was cute. Night mare before xmas tree. I am not really a tree hugger but I am not a person who deals with killing a tree to support the xmas spirit which has gone to hell in a basket anyways..

It is all about buying gifts and giving gifts and getting gifts when the true meaning was to help out your fellow man. A homeless person giving him food. A person you dont know or a neighbor.

Something like that random acts of kindness.

I am just glad to have a day off. It is always a good day when I am off from working in cubical hell.

One day I will get out of it one day soon I hope .. On my own that is and doing something I like..

yule tidings to you all

and merry happy tidings at that.

Burning juniper and good god the smell in the room is wonderful and yummy. Alot has been going on in my head and well I am just venting it is all

One my ex offered me a job in wv for a church that is open minded and wanting to do ghost busting stuff. Since I am a reiki master he offered it as a if you want it thing. Since when do churches get into paranormal they lost faith in it and now they are creating a team how weird is that??

Two I miss my grandmother alot she had words of wisdom whenever the days seem gloomy. I miss her and I miss her advise. I need some about right now and life..

Three John is leaving jan2 or sooner which is a relief for he is a good person however he eats like a horse and well I would like to get back on track and feel relaxed more so.

Get the home back to feeling like me again..

Other then that I am just in need of alot r and r..

Principle 1

In the wolf pack, the adult members dedicate a great deal of time and attention to the development of the young cubs. The cubs are taught hunting skills; they are shown tremendous affection and they are nurtured by the entire community.



“Wolf pups raised without a pack structure adapt very poorly to life in the wild.”



Principle 2

There is a Russian proverb that says: “The wolf is kept fed by his feet.”



Principle 3

In nature, the Wolf Pack will nudge out an individual wolf, known as the lone wolf, when the wolf�s contribution to the pack does not match the needs of the pack. The lone wolf sets out on his own, searching for a new pack that better matches the needs of the wolf and of the pack.





Principle 4

“Canis Lupis Irremotus” has been translated wonderfully by Sherry Devlin, into the meaning “The Wolf is always showing up.”



Principle 5

The wolf is a highly social animal, its survival is highly dependent on the cooperation of all the members of the pack. The individual efforts of each wolf is contributed in the context of the greater good of the pack.

I am at home and good goddess my home though it has been a day working triage and seeking auth knowing that. I was busy all day and lost in a whirlwind of crazy dear.

John could not find a job but hell he tried. So Tim is taking me to the drs and then a pawn shop so I can pawn my xbox and dvds to get a ticket so he can move up to his girlfriend's home. I know this sounds crazy but I miss my space being for me and not having to be worried about what to do and such..

Well there is a new day ahead and I am not sure what it leads to. John got a job and a girl that loves sex like he does which will be great for him and I am glad he is going to Canada! He will be happy for sure... He is a good person and while it was a nice. We are friends and I think he gets it...

Met a vampire that is alot like Alex. Alex sang in a band he had long hair and he was a vampire. He liked me because I was different. More so loved me for me. He was my imahku. I will always say this as true. However this vampire is blunt sexual and lol no strings attached type with a heart so locked up it is worse then mine.

I am not sure what make of him and well that is the weird part about all this.. I am not interested in being food or toyed with or even falling inlove again but the fact remains in my core I guess more so I realized tonight I am not a term or a named item but an idea and I am not a pagan and witch I am not a vampire nor werewolf. I am me and that is what I like.

I am kitty hear me roar meow

happy paws and claws

I have been busy and not sure what to do and say hmmmm work is the same drama different day. Life living with someone roomie wise has taken a toll out of me. I am used to it being my space not shared space and so I feel like it is beening invaded. John is a wonderful person. I just think I am handling the fact of one he wants to be more then friends two he is working on himself aka job and himself... and three my animals like him... grrr my babies like him... eyebrow raised could be jealously I am not sure..

I have been working out for the most part daily and feeling the pain and strain between the fibro and such I am not sure what to think if I stop I wont get down to a size 18 like I want. My trainer is actually surprised I am working on myself and trying to do the best I can to work my flab off. Zack and I were to go together however Zack has family issues at home.

So I have been going to it alone. I guess some people are not persistant but I refuse to be having my back and such hurt for the rest of my life and well I am 37 and I plan to out live wheatever does come my way. So a healthy body is a good thing. John thinks it is craziness

for I am in pain but hell I can do what I want to get better. I need strength and I need to feel good again..